Tag Archives: making-out

Confessions of a Make-out Whore

I think I’m finally starting to establish a group of friends out here in L.A.  Well, I was anyway.  I did my typical thing recently where I fall off the radar completely for a few weeks and just ignore everyone.  But!  That’s irrelevant.  We were all hanging out in Silverlake a couple of weeks ago, (the fucking hipster capital of the world) and I was very proud of myself because I didn’t get too drunk and do anything stupid that would make me want to punch myself in the stomach over the next day.  One of the guys’ drove me back to my car at the end of the night.  I don’t know him too well because like I said, this is a sort of budding, newly established friend circle, but he and I have good “friend chem” and while yes, I would say I’m somewhat attracted to him, I could easily go on, just being strictly platonic friends.

He caught me off guard when, almost in the middle of our conversation, he boldly moved closer to me and said, “I want to see what you kiss like.”  I think I might have laughed out loud because it was so honest and such a “friend” way to start kissing.  I didn’t object because how could I?  It was such a hilariously awesome way to initiate a kiss, so I had to just go with it.

That’s the end of my story.  Nothing too insane happened after that.  We kissed for a minute, and then just continued conversing and hanging out.    At one point he did say, “It’s weird that I want to fuck you and talk to you.”  Which also made me laugh out loud.  Obviously, with boys these two notions do not always go hand in hand.

Dear Single Life,

Thanks for all of the great/awkward/hilarious/fucked-up/hot/unexpected experiences.



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Confessions of a Heedless Sinner – Vol. 7

Why do guys say, “you’re so wet” when you’re clearly not.  Ummm what vagina are you finger fucking because mine can definitely not be described as “so wet,” right now.

First of all, I’m not into any type of even mild dirty talk.   Or any sexual spoken communication at all for that matter, while hooking up.  The very occasional oh my god is fine, and the you’re beautiful’s are sometimes necessary, and I dig the heavy breathing, but aside from that… please shut the fuck up.

Was making-out with this boy, and though I knew I wasn’t going to take it all the way, I let things go into second base.  I think I was just bored.  He’s hot, but I’m not that into him.  Anyway, he starts fingering me and I started with the manual stimulation as well, and he says, “you’re so wet.”

What?  No, I’m really not.  Trust me, I wish I was my friend, but sadly, your awkward dry humping is not completely doing it for me.

While I was absolutely lubricated (it’s not as if it was sandpaper down there), I could not be described as so wet.  This is not the first time I’ve had a boy say this to me when it was clearly not true.  I’m guessing they say it to try to convince themselves?  Maybe?  Or maybe it’s just a go-to phrase that they think will turn us on and in turn, make us more wet?  I don’t know.  All I know, is it drives me crazy and makes me begin to not fantasize about ripping his clothes off, but fantasize about how I’m going to gracefully end this hormonal exchange.

A better question is, why do I continue to make-out with guys that I’m not that into?

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