I’m big on questions books. I used to throw a lot of parties, and one of the key ingredients to being a good host, is making sure everyone feels included. Weird tension and segregation between groups of people who don’t know each other is a buzz kill. One of the best ways to get everyone talking is question books. There are the fun “Would You Rather” books, which ask ridiculous questions like, “would you rather pee your pants or drink a glass of spoiled milk?” Then there are the more serious question books, which is when things get interesting and you find yourself bonding with the most unexpected people.
One of my favorite questions that I have come across is, “If you could invite any five people, living or dead, to a dinner party, who would they be?” Which brings me to our discussion. I like this question because it’s ever evolving. My five seem to constantly be changing, and I find myself thinking regularly, “hmmm I would probably consider bringing (insert cool person here) to my dinner party.” The most recent consideration was Johnny Cash, but unfortunately, he didn’t quite make the cut today. Maybe next month he’ll have better luck.
Without further adieu, the five people I would like to invite to dinner would be:
1. Thomas Jefferson
2. Anaïs Nin
3. Ernest Hemingway
4. Caravaggio (the painter)
5. Kristen Scott Thomas
Now for my explanation. There are a bunch of people I would like to meet, but I’m trying to consider the “vibe” of the entire group. The above five, I feel like would get along (for the most part). Or at least keep things interesting. I could see Caravaggio and Hemingway having a literal pissing contest after drinking Scotch, neat, and arguing over the most effective way to skin an animal carcass or start a fire, or something that’s equally as arbitrarily manly. Then they’d bro down over a game of “Five Finger Fillet” while Kristen sips on wine, humming a French tune and seductively getting Thom to come out of his shell for a moment and gently dance with her. Anais would be on the balcony smoking a cigarette, wondering if any of her past loves are looking up at the same moon right now that she is. I’d be at the sundae bar (having a make-your-own-sundae station is crucial to my parties), and then we’d all sit on the floor together, pass around a wine bottle and laugh over a game of Never Have I Ever.
Jefferson is my one constant. He always makes the cut. I have a fascination with the cycle of brilliant minds in history, and have my own theory about such. Well, a half-assed theory because it is based on no real merit. It’s really just a Caitlin thought, and like most of my grand ideas, it’s probably naive, but these callow musings are my way of still believing in the good of the world. I believe that the universe brings together brilliant minds at times when we’re in the most need of them.
I have many examples that I won’t bore you with, but one of them is the Founding Fathers. I truly believe that never before in history, had so much genius been in one room together. This can’t be merely a coincidence. It’s the universe’s way of providing us with a solution. Enough hippie jabber. The full explanation of my theory will be a discussion for a different day. Back to Jefferson, he’s just fucking sexy because of all his mystery, and I’d try to get him drunk, then get in on the real gossip of his life and ask him about his love affairs with his slaves, and what his secret coded messages were actually about.
Kristen Scott Thomas is probably the choice that you’re scratching your head at. I don’t know why, but to me, that woman just seems like when she talks, we should all listen. She has this wisdom about her, and she’s cultured, so I think she could hold her own next to the other self-indulgent artists’ that I’ve chosen. On top of her charm and intelligence, I think she’d be a fucking blast to get drunk with. Her and I would definitely end up outside jumping on a trampoline together.
We all know my night would probably end with myself, cuddled up next to Caravaggio on the couch. Though I’d hope it to be Hemingway, let’s get serious… I somehow always end up with the guy who seems most likely to draw a picture of a penis as well as the most mentally unhinged.
One thing I think that all five of these people have in common, is that they seemed to have made love to the world.
Who would your five be?