Laying low at a bar. What else is new. I was reading Maxim at a high top in the shadowed area of the Chic-a-Boom Room, a cool spot located in Dunedin, Florida. Two guys walked by, and a few seconds later, one of them comes back around.
“My friend told me to turn left for the bathroom, but I had to turn right to tell you how pretty you are.”
I literally laughed out loud. I fucking love cheesy pick-up lines. I think they’re so much fun. My favorite…
(Picture a boy acting like he’s in a deep discussion with another friend, then turns to you…) “Hey. Do you know how much a Polar Bear weighs?”
“Enough to break the ice. (Offers out his hand)… “My name is Mikey.”
I fell for that one. I thought it was hilarious and that boy got a genuine laugh. Anyway! Although I was one hundred percent flattered and entertained by the lame, “turn left/turn right” pick up line, I didn’t, at first, take him seriously as a human being at all. Because of my curse, to my not so surprise, I discovered that he was the musician playing at the bar that night. OF COURSE. But that’s irrelevant.
Side note: I understand that it’s incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction, and I understand that I just did it twice, but sometimes it’s just necessary for effect. Side note #2: I will admit that I just spent a solid two and a half minutes trying to decide if I should use “effect” or “affect” with that last sentence, but gave up and went with the most popular.
Back to the story. Later, I was sitting at the bar, next to a fellow solo female bar patron. She bought me a shot, which was incredibly sweet and “female bonding” of her. Once I took my nose out of my magazine, and started being at least mildly social, I quickly realized that she was friends with the musician. The one with the cheesy pick-up line. Boy, do they have some history! I loved their chemistry and weird relationship, which was put out on display for me as the night and conversation progressed between the three of us. While I’d love to digress, and tell you about their doomed romance, instead, I’ll get to my point.
The point of this random musing is that this night, reminded me that EVERYONE, even the guy with the terrible pick-up line has something to offer if you just listen. I believe his name was Jeremy? Maybe? So Jeremy, the guy who I originally didn’t take seriously as a human being, ended up saying something which I found to be relatively profound. To paraphrase his drunken theory… he basically said that all it takes to save a relationship, or maintain a long-term relationship, is twenty minutes of undivided attention a day. Whatever relationship in your life that is lacking, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a close friendship, a familial relationship… whatever. Put aside twenty minutes of your day, to give that person all of yourself. Leave your cell phone, your to-do list, the television remote and your insincerity, and listen. Listen and talk with that person for a solid twenty minutes. That’s all it takes, and it will take you far.
Jeremy seemed to relate this to a marriage. He definitely is not married, but the way he was talking, I’m assuming that he was at one point. Sadly, I think he made this “twenty-minute self-help” discovery too late. I related this advice to my relationship with my Mother. My Mom is a beautiful human, and if everyone had a little bit more of her in them, the world would be a better place. I truly believe that. However, she can be absolutely annoying at times, and for me, difficult to talk to and find common ground with. But after contemplating Jeremy’s theory, I decided that if I simply take twenty minutes of my day, and put aside my differences with my mom and embrace her quirks, I think it could make a world of difference. It could build our relationship, make it stronger and be overall beneficial for both of us.
So I dare all of you, to be still. Be still, for only twenty minutes a day with the person in your life that you love, and care enough about to save a relationship with. Advice from the drunken free-spirit musician at the bar. To add to this….
Caitlin rule: Give EVERYONE the time of day. They may just surprise you.