Went to what I would probably consider my first, real “Hollywood” exclusive party recently. It was so effing lame. Here is what I was told about it before going:
-Dress Christmas themed.
-The host is doing a toy drive, so bring a toy that is $10 or less.
-It may be a slightly older crowd.
-Mansion in Beverly Hills.
-Alcohol provided, will have a tip bar.
-A lot of attendees from the entertainment industry.
So I was thinking, sweet, this sounds kind of classy, I could be into this. I’ll wear my slightly ridiculous red dress that I can only get away with wearing during the holidays, and a Santa hat, and maybe get some much needed networking done. I’m picturing myself sitting next to a fire-place, sipping on champagne and chatting it up with a potential collaborator while sophisticated instrumental music is playing over the gentle hum of a candlelit room.
What they meant by Christmas themed was red lingerie and santa hats. Only. What they meant by attendees from the entertainment industry, was disgusting reality show stars. I say stars, but I didn’t recognize any of them. Granted, I don’t have a television, and when I have in the past, I definitely don’t watch reality television, but I’m not exactly living under a rock either.
Four of us went together, two boys, two girls. I would say there was easily 200 people at this obnoxious gathering, and me and the other girl that I went with, were honest to God, two of maybe eight girls not dressed in lingerie. Most of the boys were wearing those extra short boxer briefs that were either red or green or themed or whatever, and Santa hats and boots. That’s it. I don’t care about your stupid six-pack abs, you look like a fucking idiot. People were doing shots out of girls’ boobs (which I’m sure there is a clever name for), it was gross.
I rarely have a “bad time” anywhere. I try to make the best of things, so I ended up having a good evening because the other three people I went with were cool and we just stayed together and passed around a champagne bottle while discussing who our five people, living or dead would be that we would invite to dinner. Such a good conversational question. The moral to the story is, 95% of Hollywood is lame…
And yes, I am a pretentious, hypocritical Hollywood Hater.
P.S. The password to get in was “toy land.” Are you friggen serious? Pedophiles? Check.